Seriously

I wrote more yesterday. A lot more. I got very serious. Tremendously, ridiculously, irritatingly, onerously serious.

***eyeroll***

I also completely stressed myself out trying to be insightful, honest, and PROFOUND!

Almost deleted it, but then I thought that 1) just because I wrote it does not mean I have to post it; and 2) I should keep it in my drafts to remind me that getting all caught up in the preciousness of my shockingly unique mind rambles is nothing but TIRESOME.

***more eyerolls***

So…I have nothing except I am out of sorts. Sometimes I am very aware that something is percolating, but nothing bubbles up into the little viewing window. I have learned to just wait as it will appear when it is damn well ready.

I can point to one irritation: this is my 4th week in my new job, and I am not working with the kids yet! I really thought they were kidding when they said it might take 3+ weeks to get everyone tested so we could then START to organize the tutoring sessions. It seems that scheduling can also take a ridiculous amount of time, because every class has a unique schedule that must be taken into consideration. And THEN, wrenches are thrown constantly which then sends all concerned back to the drawing board.

I am bored and just want to get on with the tutoring!

What else can I whinge about?

  • I need a book that will knock my socks off.
  • I need a housekeeper to clean my kitchen & bathrooms, vacuum, and do my laundry.
  • I need a new good series to watch on TV at night.
  • I need someone to cook tasty food for me.
  • …I know there’s more…

When my divas were young, I used to write about them because they were so entertaining. Now they are off living their own lives, and I feel like I might morph into one of those monstrosities who talks to people about her freaking cats. Ugh.

I think this is called empty nesting, and it sucks. It is boring only having to worry about oneself, but no, no, no, I am not going to throw myself onto the sacrificial idiot pyre that is the online dating scene. When asked if I have a husband, folks act so sorry when I answer no, until I say there is no need to be sorry or sad because I am fucking ECSTATIC to be divorced! Being in charge of myself and beholden to no one else is heaven, albeit a boring heaven.

But, I miss my family. The youngest diva is here in Minneapolis (a good hour away from where I live), but the middle diva is in Colorado Springs with her fiance, and the oldest one is in Ohio with her husband. And then there is E who lives with her husband in Louisiana, my wonderful mother and my other siblings are in California, and my former mil/great friend is in Virginia. Sure, I can visit, but now I have a job and there are 3 animals to wrangle, and with Covid, I will not be using any public transportation which means I have to drive long distances all by myself.

Oh look, I found more to whinge about.

I think about that wonderful book, Lost Connections, and I know finding my own tribe would be a good thing, but then I think about my beloved introversion, and I worry that I will just be too much myself which means getting irritated by the stupidity that abounds in so-called real life at the moment. I really do not think a new tribe is worth going to prison for.

Ok. Over myself now.

2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. COLETTE ROBINSON
    Sep 21, 2021 @ 13:31:11

    I think of you as single, not divorced. The d word defines your relationship to him.
    You’re so very free and independent. I too am getting bored, but not willing to take a job I am not excited and proud to talk about. I need to find a way to bring dance and new movement back into my daily life, but dancing with a mask is oppressive. I whine…..

  2. taoknitter
    Sep 21, 2021 @ 13:34:26

    I think about my dancing all the time…need to figure out how to choreograph in a rolling chair! I never thought about how d defines you in relationship to the ex. You are right…I am ecstatically single!

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